I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
be right there i have to get my cape
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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