Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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