Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
