glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is Oprah even human
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
