I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
