no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My pussy is not your playground.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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