Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
