he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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