I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
