Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You don't make any sense
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