I puked a lego.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
