I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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