fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
