She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
