im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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