What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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