my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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