do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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