She said her name was "party"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
