walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
