so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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