My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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