OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
