My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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