No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
