would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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