The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
