new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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