I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize