Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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