He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
