im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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