u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
