So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize