Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
