No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize