remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
