i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
