What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
