we have officially lost it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize