Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
