This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We left the knife in your bed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
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