Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
