Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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