I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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