she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
