i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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