i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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