Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize