Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
