My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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