the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
