Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am midnight drunk by noon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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