I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
