I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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