i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize