you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Two words: nipple clamps
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