is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
