hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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