Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
