I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
