well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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