Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
