do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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