I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
